A bad case of

(via Katey Lynn)

senioritis: a disease that affects every human being who has ever been a senior in high school. A senior with typical symptoms: not doing homework, not caring that they're not doing homework, not going to school because they're just not feeling going through the dragging process of attending classes that day, they don't pull out their assignment notebook until Sunday night at 11:30 (commonly confused with severe cases of procrastination), etc. They say the disease is contagious; airborne in fact. Seniors who haven't been hit yet, you're part of the lucky bunch. Seniors who have already been hit, you've probably been hit hard. And according to urban dictionary, there's only one cure: graduation. 

How can seniors become so apathetic so suddenly?

I was once a junior and boy does that feel like forever ago. A year can change so much. One moment I'm taking the ACT and the next I'm sending in a $300 enrollment deposit, confirming the next four years of my life. One day I'm pulling out my hair from all the stress that comes with US history homework and the next thing I know I don't even care about the C I get on my Calculus quiz.

The concept of time is a complex idea. In reality, you can only move forward with it. You can turn back clocks but you can never make it the same exact time as it was before. It will never be this date, this time ever again. This whole idea, I'll admit, scares me. The fact that I can't relive, that is. I can't relive that moment when I took the ACT (not that I'd want to), I can't be 16 again, I can't legally drive a car for the first time again, and I can't go back to how it used to be.  I can only look forward to what's ahead. And there's beauty in that. There's beauty in the mystery of the future. Change can be depressing, sure, but it can also be beautiful. There's so much to look forward to: graduation, college, pursuing a career that you want. It's all scary. But we can't escape the inevitability of change. It's the only thing that is consistent. So we might as well accept it, embrace it, and make the best out of the moments we have because there's no way to escape what we can't control.

Psychoanalysis: The next years

2012. Later this year, me and my six hundred some peers will be graduating from high school. Tomorrow will be March. 3 months have already gone by this year which means that there's only technically 3 more months until it's all over. Only 3 more months left and yet I'm still undecided on not only a college but also a career.

When we were younger, it was okay to want to become a teacher or a musician or an Olypmpic athlte. It was okay and even encouraged to chase those dreams. I don't know when it was, but there was a point in time when those dreams morphed into reality. I always dreamt of becoming an Olympic volleyball player. I know of senior students who would make fantastic teachers but aren't pursuing that career because they know it's exceptionally difficult to land a job after college. However, I do know students who are going into college with the intent of majoring in education because they know that's what they will succeed in. Although I'm 110% supportive of those kids and their motives, I do understand where the first group of students are coming from.

Ostensibly, the nation (as well as the world) has recently been struggling economically. Our nation's leaders have failed to pull us out of debt and it's affecting everyone. As incomes significantly drop, college tuition continues to rise. Gas prices are increasing and for the most part increased taxes are hitting Americans hard. A lot of high school seniors (myself very much included) are currently feeling the pressure to get on the right track now. Even though I hear things like "follow your dreams" and "don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something" I still hear voices in my head telling me to do the more realistic things. Don't act. Don't teach. Don't become an audio engineer; even that doesn't pay enough. These thoughts...are they my own? Are they my parents'? Are they society's? What should I DO?

My parents told me to find a path on which I would be successful. Whatever it may be, whether or not it's my dream, ensure the utmost success out of it. I find conflict here: what if my dream is to play international volleyball for the rest of my life? I mean, I'm not going to lie. I have thought about that. But then I have to ask myself like I was taught: will I be successful at it? That much I cannot guarantee. So here I am declaring a psychology and international relations major and minor respectively, hoping to become a successful child psychiatrist. Hopefully I'll find ways to play volleyball and travel when I'm not in a therapy session.

I know these times are tough and I don't even have a steady job or a family to support. I only hope that I can come to terms with what I have learned from my parent's advice and society confines while simultaneously remembering what I've wanted to pursue since 5th grade.